Simon had a…thing for front-loading washing machines. It wasn’t sexual; it was just a thing. He liked climbing inside and going for a ride. He liked going around and around and around. He liked the soap bubbles, and the taste of towels. It was a horrible addiction, and his momma told him to stop, but he couldn’t. She told him one day he’d get caught breaking into people’s houses for a ride in their front-loader, but he didn’t care. Elves broke into houses for all sorts of reasons: to make shoes, to clean messes…why NOT to ride a washing machine?